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Would you look at this. A letter from the front! |
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The front? The front of what? |
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How am I supposed to know? I knew I was at war with you, Kavian, but I hardly ever get letters to that effect. |
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... hardly ever? |
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It's not like I'm foolish enough to attack France and Russia at the same time. |
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You would certainly receive excessive splash damage. |
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Let's get this report behind enemy territory, shall we?
"Dear Savannah Vice!" |
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"Mein Fuhrer! Ze war ist going vell! Ve haft taken ze southern front, and ze western! Unfortunatly, ve haft been losing ground to ze north and ze east, specifically in ze zone of zat tratior you ordered shot last tuesday. To zummarize, ve haft neither gained, nor lost ground, however, our entire empire, comprising ze five-hundredth block through ze seven-hundredth block ist now our empire comprising ze eight hundredth block through ze ten-hundredth block. In short, ve have simply moved four blocks south-west." |
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This feels like trying to read the book Their eyes were watching God. |
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"Unfortunatly, zis development haz left all of our emplacements (ze lemonade fort, cola compound, and ze hamburger headquarters) in enemy territory. As I write zis, ze enemy are storming ze very gates! Ve load our pistolz now, and make ready to do ze battle." |
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Lemonade? What kind of war are you fighting? |
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"PS. Your secretary Arieta asked me to append zis note to zis brief.
Mien Savannah! Please forgive me, for I have been in love with you for the entire length of this war (Since the monday before last) but have had not the heart to tell you! Wait for me, I vill survive, if only to place my lips upon yours once! The enemy are coming!" |
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A secretary, even? I didn't know you could coordinate this well. |
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Mmm... |
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S-Savannah? Are you awake? |
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Oooh Arieta... zose broad German shoulders... |
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We've lost her, folks. |
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Whaa? What? I'm here, I'm awake! I wasn't dreaming about any muscular secretary, really! Ah hah, ha ha ha... |
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Nice try, Kaname Chidori. Have you been trying to ressurect the Third Reich? |
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Only a little bit. You don't have a problem with mutated zombie soldiers, do you? |
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Maybe. Let me check "Kavian's Big Book 'o Phobias..." |
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Ahem. While Kavian determines how afraid he is of zombie soldiers, I'd like to remind you that I do maintain an e-mail account and I love hearing from you. Don't worry; I'll still respond to you, even if you're not Arieta. |
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Hey! I have one too! And I'll definitely respond if you're not Arieta! |
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