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Can you believe the amount of fan mail we get? Whew, this is a ton of letters! |
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S-Savannah, those aren't... |
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Look at this! I'm the millionth person to see this banner. It's flashing! |
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That's a... |
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And this person over here wants me to buy Hillary Clinton's new book! How thoughtful! |
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So this is what happens when you turn off the spam mail filter. Savannah, would you like to read a real letter? |
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I would, but nobody sends anything. I'll just have to read another fake one. |
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Now I know how Bruce Tognazzini felt starting out. |
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*brave sniff* Here we go.
"Dear Kei and Yuri," |
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The original pair, not the new Flash girls... right? |
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"Thank you ever so much for resolving the hostage situation on our planet, Corvair 9. The people can rest easy now that the emperor has been returned to his rightful seat of power. Truly, the citizens danced in the streets the day the good news arrived." |
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Sounds like you get to read a happy letter for a change. |
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"These same citizens would be much happier dancing in their homes, but could not because our residential district has been obliterated. Were you aware that the reason bazookas are forbidden on our planet is because the trace quantities of nitro glycerin in our atmosphere is not extremely toxic but is extremely flammable?" |
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Nitro glycerin can go airborne? |
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"I am very grateful that you managed to avoid incinerating the emperor by escaping through the castle's underground tunnels. I am thus curious why you left armed explosives in the passages behind you. The terrorists were entering police custody with their own homemade handcuffs when the castle and all matter within a 5 mile radius was completely vaporized. This left a permanently surprised expression on the faces of the outlying citizens, who had their eyebrows burnt off." |
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"This message will self destruct,
- Prime Minister of Corvair 9" |
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Somebody's causing trouble and it's not me? |
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I'm as shocked as you are. |
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Really? Then why can I still see your eyebrows? ... Ah, they're getting closer... closer... OWW! |
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HAH! Headbutt! |
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Owwwie... |
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Oh! That really was unladylike of me. I'd like to thank you once again, reader, for taking the time to comment on these comics. Without your support, I wouldn't be the woman I am today. |
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Yeah, an ugly bat with a heart of coa - AAAARGH! My foot! |
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Thank you, and good night. |
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