#27 - The truth is out to lunch

Comic #027

Too Obscure For You?

The X-Files was my favorite TV show for a long time. I stopped watching before they got rid of Mulder, but my love of the early episodes is still strong. The show featured all sorts of paranormal activity, but Mulder and Skully would find creative ways to explain their mystical or scientific beliefs, respectively. Skully’s attempt was always futile, but it was fun to watch. A typical conversation in The X-Files would go one of two ways:

OFFICER: The victim appears to have two small puncture wounds in her neck, and bat scratches around her ears. Evidence surrounding the crime scene indicates she was prepared for this assault. We found a stake, some garlic cloves, and a gun loaded with four silver bullets.
SKULLY: The attacker must have used the stake to carefully puncture the victim’s neck in order to slow her down. He was probably carrying a bat from the local pet store when he decided to commit this murder. The bat escaped, flew into a grocery store, grabbed some garlic, and returned to assault the woman. The bullets were spray painted silver by a passing hoodlum as the woman lay bleeding.
MULDER: Vampire.

OFFICER: The man in the next room just signed seventeen confessions he wrote himself stating that he killed his wife because she cheated on him.
MULDER: Obviously, that man was picked up last night by a malovelent alien race. His left eyeball was removed and refitted with a video camera and microphone. When he returned to his house, his wife was about to cook dinner when his son transformed into a werewolf and tore his mother to shreds. The aliens witnessed this, beamed him back aboard their spaceship, and replaced him with a cyborg programmed to sign confession sheets.
SKULLY: I think I’m going to hang myself.