Too Obscure For You?

Lyssie’s ability to switch gears is legendary. She’s listening to Sisqo’s “Thong Song,” grooving it in a way I could never express with sprites. Ooh, that dress so scandalous. … Listen, I thought it would be funny at the time, okay?

Why would Savannah look down at her breasts when Ayer says “huge tracts of land?” Because she’s thinking of a euphamism from the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail. In that movie there is a young lad who is betrothed to some woman he doesn’t particularly love… or know at all. So his father reassures him that she’s a suitable mate. “She’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got… (he cups his hands significantly under his chest) huge tracts of land.” Of course, we can’t blame the lad for being apprehensive. When your father builds a castle that sinks into the swamp, then another castle that sinks into the swamp, then a castle that burns down and sinks into the swamp, then FINALLY a castle that doesn’t sink into the swamp, you’d lose some trust in him too.

And who is Miss Inverse? None other than the famous Lina “Dragon Killer” Inverse, feared by all bandits and Big ‘Uns photographers. She’s the main character in the long-running Slayers anime series, a fantasy romp similar to a far-fetched Dungeons and Dragons campaign. Slayers likes to buck the trend in anime fantasy stories, and thus Lina has the smallest breasts you’ll ever see. Ahem. By smallest, I mean about the size of grapefruit, instead of the spine-crushing watermelons sported by many animated leading ladies. This doesn’t stop the breast jokes, no, it actually increases them, as every female character in Slayers is obligated to make Lina feel underdeveloped at some point. Watch Plastic Little, and you’ll get an idea of the long history of breast-comparison scenes.